My goals for the rest of the year.

Well this year hasn’t exactly gone to plan so far. Negatively I’ve been dumped and had various health issues including Aussie flu, damn that flu. Positively I have this blog. But what for the rest of the year? Well sit back and let’s delve into my targets.

Blog goals.

My biggest targets for this is for it to just keep going and post daily. Hopefully it will grow but won’t take anything for granted. Currently passed 4,000 views so I would love to hit 10,000 by the end of the year. I mean honestly that would be mind blowing for me. I would love to keep follower growth going steadily. All in all if it keeps growing I will be happy.

As for content, I want to write more creative pieces. Write more stories for you and even try a bit of poetry. I can only try.

As for #neverletlightfade, I would love that to grow to be something. But that is it’s own little thing.

Blogging community.

I want to keep communicating and meeting new people. This really is the best community ever and met some amazing people so far. So I want that to continue. I want to continue helping other bloggers grow and smile too.


I need to focus on me. Find a way of controlling my anxiety. I know it will be there what ever but I can fight it with happiness and positivity. I want to lose weight. I want to be a lot slimmer so I hope to see progress by January at best. Diet wise I need to cut out all junk as it’s killing my body and immune system. All positives.

As for dating. Well, that’s not going to happen. I won’t be looking for it. Ideally would love someone to walk into my life and let the sparks fly. But after all this time, it’s a fantasy.

All in all, I want to be more positive. Feel better in myself and stop the negativity that has plagued me for nearly a decade and a half.

Hope you enjoyed today’s post. What are your goals for the rest of 2018?

Have a great day 🙂

creative catergory, short story, Uncategorized

Short story: “The eyes”

So I have decided to take a step out of my comfort zone and attempt to write a chilling story. I had an idea for a few days but thought I would write and share with you guys. Hope you enjoy.

I was on patrol one day when I noticed a guy sitting in the corner. He was well dressed, suited if you were, legs to his chest and slowly rocking. I was immediately concerned. I approached him, tentative, cautious. I get to within feet and now I am on edge. The guy is dazed, horrified. As I ask him his wellness, my concern turn to unease, fear. He is shaking, physically trembling. “Are you okay, Sir?” I nervously ask. He stops and stares. Only a few seconds past, but they felt more like minutes. “The eyes, the eyes, the eyes.” He repeats. Says nothing more just that phrase.

We call in for back up and leave the guy with the other officers. Back home the words resonate through my brain. How can eyes do that to someone? It didn’t make sense. That night I didn’t sleep. The thought of eyes kept me awake. Understandable all considering.

The next day approached, my shift starts I was nervous but in a different are so just hoped it went by with some ease. But it isn’t long before another strange event. A young lady, dressed in a hoody and jeans, is in a familiar position. Identical to the guy the day before. My nerves are on end as I approach. I remark the same question. “Are you okay, Madame?” She bolts upright. Her eyes filled with fear but fixed gaze. She starts shouting “the eyes, the eyes”. Those words. The horror in her eyes. Why won’t she say more? What can it be?

I take a couple of days of absence to get my mind focus. Sleepless nights. Those words though. Why so horrific? On returning to work I am pulled aside by my boss for a meeting. What he explains next left me terrified. He calmly explains that the two people I approached had died. Both of natural causes and both within 24 hours. I was in shock. I can’t believe this. The horror and fear they held. So sad but so nerve racking.

I go back on patrol when I get a call of a suspicious person in the same area. I freeze and lock up, it can’t be? We arrive and start to search. A guy, black hooded figure just standing still in the middle of the road. He is looking up, like he is waiting. What is he waiting for? We approach. I’m nervous. Fearful. As we get within yards, he looks down. Almost anticipating me being close. I say nothing. All the sound drowns around me, my voice seems like it’s stolen. I’m within touching distance. He suddenly turns at me. Those eyes. The eyes. He has none. They are replaced with fear, anger, death. I can’t move. I’m frozen, like fear it’s self had tied me up and bolted me to the floor.

The figure vanishes. I cannot move. Nothing is worth living for. I’m scared and lost. What’s the point? This is the end. I have met death. The eyes. The eyes of death have taken me.


My tips for growing you blog.

I have been struggling to think of something to write today. Mainly battling my own head. But I wanted to do something that can help everyone in their quest to fulfil their blogging dreams. So I will give you my tips of how to grow your blog. Let’s get straight into it.


This has been a huge tool for me. I have only till recently been using twitter to help spread the word of this random blog. But has worked wonders for me. Key is to not be pushy. I tweet out a few times a day to say I have a new blog post out. I also use blog threads. This gives you a great opportunity to meet new people and share your blog. Be polite and never force yourself into people. It will only hinder. The blogging community I have entered is full of truly genuinely warm hearted and kind people. Don’t misuse them.

Be yourself

I have found with my blog that I am comfortable being me. Now considering I am the first person to be anti me, this is quite surprising. But I have always been open. The blog is a part of you. So treat it that way. Never force yourself to write what is out of your comfort zone or you don’t feel you can handle as it will tell in your writing. Your followers can pick up on changes. So just be you.


I am kind of guilty of not doing this at times. On my bad weeks I fail to schedule. But mostly I do. I like to know what I can do, very important when I am a daily uploader. Do what’s comfortable to you. For me I schedule the days and 7 blogs I want to write but keep it flexible on what days.

No post is a lost cause

Lastly for this never think a post is a lost cause. My phone and wordpress has quite a few started posts that I lost the feeling for. But when I find out how I want to word a specific post and how I see its journey panic out, I will finish it. So never give up or discard it. Any idea you get be a great idea. Always keep them.

I hope this has helped some of you.

Until next time,

Have a great day 🙂

Personal, Uncategorized

My heart. The warrior.

My heart is in a battle, a war. It’s being tugged one way and another. It’s been shattered, broken, scratched, scarred, burnt and torn. But it still battles. It still fights for love and to be whole again. Every hateful word, lie and bad choices have damaged it to a point where I am starting to not recognise it.

You were so full of understanding, mercy, forgiveness and love. I know you are still there as I still see all of those qualities. But my dear friend, you’ve let hatred and jealousy creep in and I am worried for you. Don’t give in. You are strong.

I know my Brain has played apart in your downfall. The anxiety, worrying and over thinking have chipped away at you for so long. We can only try and sort this ourselves. You can be whole again.

I know there is a chunk of you missing. A chunk we can’t get back yet. Be patient, she could return with it. Hope is the key here. As much as you miss it you know that chunk will be hers. She will protect it and find her way back. I believe.

Stay strong my broken warrior. Keep fighting and let love throw through me. We are one.

football, Sport, World Cup

My England Review.

Be still my beating heart, we can relax again now. Although last night was disappointing, I can’t help but feel proud and happy for an England team again. A semi Final of a World Cup is something I didn’t think I would see in my life time.

To put into perspective, 2 years ago I stopped watching England. Frankly embarrassed by Iceland it was the final straw. Fed up of watching managers play negative, boring football, picking players for their names and just dull manager decisions. I had enough. Then Southgate got hired and I was happy. Started watching in the warm up games as liked the squad and what Southgate does. And here we are.

Since 1996 I always thought we were underachievers, amazing players but never got anywhere. Too many egos. This squad, manager and backroom staff have restored faith in England for me. We play positive, we look dangerous and best of all it’s a young squad with talent coming through. It’s exciting to see.

As for the World Cup. Who at the beginning thought we would beat anyone 6-1? Who thought we would actually win a Penalty shout out? Who thought we would win a quarter final convincingly? Who thought we would be in a semi final? Huge shout out to Maguire, Pickford, Trippier and Kane. For me our best players at the tournament and players I hope kick on from here.

This squad deserves every praise and a heroes welcome. Here is to an exciting future and hopefully more history breaking achievements.


Have a great day 🙂

Uncategorized, Personal, random

Tea Time with Jay

Hello guys and welcome to my second ‘Tea Time with Jay’. A small series where I chat about a subject that annoys or irritates me. This week we are talking about buses. I can feel the anticipation from here. So sit back, grab a drink and let’s dive into it.

As the nursery rhyme goes “The wheels on the bus go round and round”. Very observant of you little child. But for me it’s more “The wheels on the bus go……. please let me off now. I submit.” For most of my life the bus has been my mode of transport. Yes at 31 I am part of the can’t drive brigade. I have every ambition of learning just money hates me. But back to buses. I do have a few issues with them.

I don’t get why when the bus is late I never get an apology. If I was late for work I get a verbal beat down. So why is the person who has made me late not even caring? It’s annoying. I don’t mind a few minutes, that’s understandable. It’s when they are so late the next bus is right bloody behind him. Then to make matters worse when I am late why do you stop at EVERY stop. Nobodies pressed the bell and nobody is standing there. Use your foot and keep moving.

I just realised how moany I can be. Love it.

My next gripe is the cleanliness of them. They look like at no point they have been cleaned at all. Floors are sticky, often filled with bottles dropped by ignorant people who think they are superior because they sit at the back. News flash idiots, your not cool. Bits of leaves and twigs collected by random windows and chewing gum. You disgusting people. Put it in the bin. I don’t want your gob remains anywhere near me. Also why do i always get the seat near the guy who hasn’t showered ever? Why?

Hope you enjoyed this. Something a little different.

Have a great day 🙂

short story, Uncategorized

Short story.

Hey guys.

So I was struggling with today’s post. A little bit of fatigue and writers block. As I was flicking through an old phone of mine, I stumbled on an old short story that I have yet to share with you. So here is it. A little different to the others but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

“Hello, how can I help?”. A phrase to many in the customer service that has burrowed its way in and stuck on repeat. An industry of people helping others for their purchase while being paid just enough to put food on the table. For many this is a job where biting your tongue and having to take crap is just a part of life as eating and sleeping. Especially if you are a Barista.

Meet Owen. He like many is your typical nice guy barista. Polite, happy and always willing to help. To be honest Owen hates coffee and never quite understood how he ended up here. But there is a secret to Owen, he has been broken by the industry. Years of being used, tormented has chipped away at him. Now if he gets annoyed he bites back using mostly sarcasm. Trust me some of the things are hilarious. Kind of makes me want to try. Today I will tell you some examples of his “banter”. So buckle down and be prepared.

Owen always starts the day this same, tired, wishing it was another day off and weetabix. well breakfast is important they say. After he gets ready its always a simple walk to train station. Music blaring in his ears and ignoring everyone that walks past him. As he gets to work that’s where the fun starts. As he clocks in, he realises for the millionth (not literAlly before you start) day in a row they have run out of vital stock. I say vital, well milk is important. As Owen serves his first customer he finds himself asking the same question he has to ask every customer. “Small, medium or large?”. This baffles Owen. They read the price list above hum, some seem to study it for hours it seems as if some sort of memory exam. They must see the 3 different prices, 3 different size of cups and still mutter just the drink. After he takes the money and hands them their drink, the customer walks off, but a word is said. Owen is stirring now. Manners really don’t cost much. He bites his tongue and gently says Thank you.

This is surprisingly calm for what may follow later. But he holds his head up and carries on. About half an hour passed without incident really. I know I couldn’t quite believe it myself but it happened. But sure enough we enter incident number two. This is however not one of annoyance. A tall gentleman walks through the doors, I know right through them, and proceeds to head to the selection of cheap *cough* sandwiches and pastries on offer. As he finally makes his choice, in sure he inspected every last detail of them, he walks over and as he hands his product to Owen he says with a. Slight foreign twang “can this cook?”. Now Owen knew full well what the gentleman wanted but never to miss an opportunity he went for it. He calmly looks up and in a split second replies “no sir, its a pasty”. I mean its terrible. Funny but terrible. Okay I giggled abit. Okay quite a bit. How Owen kept a straight face I don’t know. But thankfully the gentleman also found the funny side.

Few hours past and as Owen is working with his good friend and colleague a rather odd situation occurs. As Owen is on the coffee machine and his colleague is serving, a young lady comes to the till and starts complaining about everything. Now for context the two guys have been rushed off their feet and haven’t had time to clear a table yet but I digress. As she complains about the table she wants having people on it, to the prices and so on, her final quip is that they had run out of the drink she had wanted. Owen knowing full well they had run out, calmly says to the woman that he will check the back. Few minutes past before Owens voice is heard from the cupboard. “Ben” he cries out to his colleague. “I found it”. Ben looking rather confused simply replies “what?”. “My field of fuck. Awwww its still baron. What the hell. Looks like no focus given again”. Ben is now laughing alot, woman storms off presumably to complain and the others in the queue are a mixture of amused and shocked. As Owen runs out he lets out a laugh. Same old Owen using humour as his best tool.

I have many more stories of Owen and as time goes on in sure ill happily sit here and let you know every detail. I know most of you will understand what its like to be in customer service and have customers never understanding how you are and the strain it puts on an individual emotionally and physically. But some will see him as rude. Its the generation we live in where people never see past their own bubble.

Hope you enjoyed today’s post.

As always, have a great day 🙂