I find myself sitting on the train to work in the strangest of moods. I’m happy yet sad, inspired yet lazy. My mind is running at a 100 miles and hour. One minute it’s thinking of every mistake I have made, from losing people I held close to not taking opportunities that were amazing for me. Then the next I am full on creative mode, with four or five stories in my head I want to write. Problem is they all start merging into one. I’m concentrated yet with little focus.
This isn’t a bad thing. I haven’t been able to be creative for a little while, so this is a good thing. Yes it’s annoying I can’t focus on one just yet. But I will and before I know it I will have four stories instead of none. As for thinking about my mistakes, it’s only strengthening me. I have come to realise every mistake and lost opportunities, shapes me into a stronger person. Gives me the sight to know how to see the signs. Gives me the wisdom to know when I need to take an opportunity.
My mind will never stop thinking, never stop going. There will be good days and bad days. I will haves of pure brilliance and days of pain and mental anguish. For today I’m hoping I can gain focus and a smile. Only I can change this.